With all of the smarmy mind-games and riddles and crossword puzzles that people spend their time and energy on every day, why not fix real problems?
We pay almost $100 Million a year so The Lakers can stick a basketball into a net, and watch it fall out the other side.
Solve a Rubik’s Cube. What’s the outcome? Nothing. Absolutely pointless.
If you have the time and discipline to reach Level 80 in World of Warcraft, you should be able to plug a hole in the bottom of the ocean.
The mental tasks required to graduate from high school should prepare you for solving any problem in the world. How much more difficult can it be than learning Algebra?
So let’s get to work.
Here are Six Things That Need Fixing:
- The official story of September 11 still makes no sense. Coming up on 9 years, guys. Even David Lynch is confused. Let’s shut down Facebook, Google, Apple, YouTube, and TED — and dedicate those innovative freethinkers to answering some questions.
- Ban personal automobiles from major cities. Switch to buses, trains, and bicycles. Replace Hummer Limos with rickshaws, pulled by joggers. See how easy it is to get to Santa Monica, now?
- Shut down every fast food franchise in the country. Obesity kills millions of people a year.
- “Let the products sell themselves. Fuck advertising, commercial psychology. Psychological methods to sell should be destroyed.” -D. Boon.
- Deport all Republicans to Iraq, if they’re so obsessed with being there.
- Get the Disclosure Project Witnesses in front of The President and Congress.
My dad used to joke, “I buy you books and send you to school, and you’re still stupid.”
He was right. What good is Mensa?
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