[Photo from some Russian Website.]

When we are born, each of us is given one, single job on this earth.

At the center of our souls we all have a tiny candle. Becoming an adult is taking over the responsibility for keeping that candle lit. Like a pilot light, it’s the source that all self-esteem, truth, and creativity ignite from.

It has a lot of names in mythology:

• Light Without Heat
• The All Spark
• The Blue Fairy
• Birdhouse In Your Soul
• The Heart of the Island

That little spark is powerful enough to compose a magnificent film score, produce a bland TV show, and maybe even destroy the world several times over. What you do with it is up to you (unless someone stops you, whether physically or financially).

One thing is for sure: you can drive yourself insane trying to keep someone else’s candle lit.

(And I’m not talking about helpless people who live under the oppression of a totalitarian state or have no access to food and clean water. I’m talking about people who simply don’t care. Why should you?)

In this society… unless they’re a child, the elderly, or mentally-handicapped, maybe it’s best to let the candle go out.

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That’s because it is.

If you look closely enough, everything sucks.

Analogies fail. Equal temperament is inherently dissonant. Rebecca Romijn wears makeup.

Congratulations! Your keen observational skills have made it impossible to enjoy anything.

Here’s a shocker: Art isn’t How To Tell The Truth Through Mathematics.

Why treat it that way? It’s selected, edited, trimmed, tweaked, re-contextualized. Artists are liars. If you focus on the materials the fantasy is made of, you’ve missed the point.

Don’t stand so close to that painting. Stop being so analytical. Get out of the way and let your subconscious (probably the larger part of yourself) enjoy the show.

“When you’re a child, something as simple as a tree doesn’t make sense. You see it in the distance and it looks small, but as you go closer, it seems to grow — you haven’t got a handle on the rules when you’re a child. We think we understand the rules when we become adults but what we really experienced is a narrowing of the imagination.” -David Lynch

Remember how great movies were when you were eight?

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Photo by Sanvean.

When you’re learning how things are made, it’s easy to get caught up in reverse engineering.

A songwriting book can tell you:

• The chorus should start on a note that is higher than the last note of the verse, preferably a major third above it.
• Your song title should be no more than seven syllables in length, and should appear in the chorus.
• The first chorus should occur within 30 seconds.

These are aspects of musical architecture. Tools for the construction process. But they don’t tell you why the house was built on the edge of a waterfall.

Sure, you can replace the heart of music, inspiration, with a mathematical formula. Get out your ruler and copy the patterns. You’ll fool a lot of people. (It worked for Rivers Cuomo.)

But without that Eureka Moment, all you’ve got is a Frankenstein Monster. It’s not actually alive.

Those who think they can outsmart the system will make post-modern, ironic arguments for the validity of disposable pop trash. What they won’t admit to themselves is that they still can’t pull it off themselves.

Unimaginative pot-boilers want the magic so badly, that they forget it’s something that just happens.

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Eman Laerton and I have spent so much time talking about Bad Music, that we get this question all the time.

This morning, I received a firm request to answer it.

First, I’ll give an Abstract philosophical answer, in two parts:

1.) Good Music combines as many Musical Elements as possible and uses them in a creative way. The Elements of music are generally accepted to be things like Melody, Harmony, Rhythm, Tempo, Dynamics, Pitch, Duration, Texture, Form, and Timbre. Music Appreciation 101. I believe that if you throw a bucket of ice water in the face of each of those at tell them to get to work, you have a chance at making Good Music.
2.) Good Music conveys a story or meaning beyond those mere Elements.

I’ve found that’s a pretty Objective way to measure it. You can argue with that all you want, but I don’t think these tools were invented to be abandoned.

Oh, you want a Subjective answer? OK.

Here’s something more Concrete, based on those Abstractions. This is my personal list of favorite rock / pop albums (in no order other than the first entry being where it belongs)…

1.) Steve Vai – Passion & Warfare
2.) System of a Down – Mezmerize / Hypnotize
3.) They Might Be Giants – Flood
4.) Victims Family – White Bread Blues
5.) Mr. Bungle – Disco Volante
6.) Kevin Gilbert – The Shaming of the True
7.) Ani DiFranco – Little Plastic Castles
8.) Devin Townsend – Infinity
9.) Ween – Pure Guava
10.) Nomeansno – Why Do They Call Me Mr. Happy?

Each of those albums has a “thing” to them that connects the pieces together. I’ve listened to each of them on repeat, feeling as if I’m pulled into a unique creative universe. They have strong character, and don’t sound to me like a bunch of songs were stuck together. They have variety and duality in their Elements. Fast-slow, loud-soft, funny-serious, long-short, big-small, complex-simple. A good album intimidates me and teases me, and I hear new things each time I listen. I get the feeling that there is always more going on that I don’t hear — maybe I’m seeing just a snapshot, or there are deep roots growing below the surface, or the album is talking about me behind my back somewhere. Who knows? It’s Seduction.

There are other candidates that could go on this list, but according to the rules, I could only pick ten that meant the most to me. You might notice that only one of those albums was released in the past 15 years. That’s because music doesn’t mean as much to me as it did when I was in my teens and twenties.

I don’t go out looking for good music anymore. For the past year, I haven’t listened to much of anything other than screenwriting podcasts… and the occasional Classical KUSC. (So please, no more technical-death-fantasy-epic-metal videos.)

When we discover music, we form a relationship with it based on Context — where we are at the time, what we’ve heard previously, what we’re ready to hear. Some music serves a temporary purpose for us, comes and goes. Some music sticks around and deserves contemplation, and it can seem to grow along with us.

As you’re developing as a musician, it’s easy to get caught up in taking things apart and focusing on only the Elements. I’ve been guilty of that, and much of the music I’ve listened to (and thought I really loved) turned out to be just an Exercise. So don’t ever forget what the personal meaning is for you.

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There are those who believe ideas are sacred — that once they are manifested as products and entered into The Marketing Mythology Archives, they become canon.

Some day, a friend will turn to you and say:

“They remade Lord of the Rings?! Why? Why would they ruin such a good movie?”

In this case, they will mean investors who moved money around and released a copy of a movie that is a copy of a book, hoping to earn a profit. It doesn’t need to be taken seriously as a work of art. If you criticize it, you will have already missed the point.

As if a karaoke version will forever ruin the original.

Distribution does not equal Immortality.

Think of all these bad movie remakes as nothing more than cover songs.

They serve the same purpose: familiar name, simple material, safe investment. Replace the original inspired performance with sterile midi tracks, ignore the artist’s original intent, leave out anything tricky or high-brow, and repeat the chorus 3,000 times until the drunk people fall over.

Take it a step further… give the drunk people microphones, let them sing.

It happened to music, why not movies, too?

Behold: Movieoke!

To find out where the movie industry is headed, always look to the music industry. All art forms eventually devolve to sell beer.

Even my blog did.

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Photo from WildAnimalFightClub.com.

Everyone. Calm down. Let’s get over this one.

On Facebook, your “Friends” aren’t your friends.

It just means you’re trading Feeds. It’s the same when you become a “Fan” or “Like” something / someone. All you’re doing is adding yet another source of data to your home page. It’s nothing personal, so stop freaking out. (I know… it’s a dirty trick they’ve pulled, using an everyday word to mean something else, but you’ll get the hang of it.)

Facebook connects people through Aggregation — grabbing streams of information and mashing them together. Think of a Feed as a thick rope that’s braided together from hundreds (or thousands) of small threads. If you don’t want one of the threads, just delete it (or even Hide it). Easy!

Facebook allows you to filter Feeds (people) into Lists. I have 3 different ones:

• Weird people I want to get to know.
• People I already know in real life (family, friends).
• Everyone.

Facebook is like a giant newspaper written by average people, or one of those graffiti walls down on Venice Beach. See it for what it is. It’s customized chaos, just for you. No two people have the same feed on their home page (unless they have identical lists of connections).

Don’t confuse yourself with the names of the stupid buttons. Clicking on “Like” doesn’t mean you are an advocate for that person or product. Facebook changes their jargon for this “social video game” all the time, so it doesn’t matter. Next month it could be called “Stalking” or “Worshipping.” Who cares?

And don’t worry about having too many “Friends.” Most just lurk and don’t post anything! I have nearly 1,300 and I can read my entire feed in probably 15 minutes.

Wanna be “Friends?” Okay. No problem.

Just NEVER do the following:

1.) Post self-promoting links on my wall, unless they’re relevant to conversation.
2.) Send me “Gifts” or include me in any app / video game / virus.
3.) Invite me to “Like” every single thing you “Like.”
4.) Tag me in a Note that has nothing to do with me.
5.) Operate under the assumption that Vegans only eat lettuce, while everyone else gets a pizza party.

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