The War On Fun

The War On Fun was declared by Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk on April 19, 2008, at Steve Allen Theater in Hollywood, CA. Its purpose is to counteract the pervasive influence of youth culture on human youth, and send a strong message to manufacturers and corporations through grassroots action. Young humans soon realize that they can not be “individuals” and “all one” at the same time, and this confuses them. They give up hope and do not want to be SERIOUS, since being SERIOUS causes them to just get more CONFUSED. This, in turn, causes them to resort to engaging in dangerous activities they call FUN to escape.

BUT WHAT IS FUN, EXACTLY?
A FUN activity is any activity which does not directly contribute to the attainment of a long-term goal. It is time spent with no regard for practical or utilitarian use. In essence, these are illogical actions that yield no product. They are mindless, silly, and a waste of time. It is believed that the entire function of these irrational behaviors is the passing of time out of boredom.

WHY IS FUN A SERIOUS CONCERN?
Whether we want to admit it, the number one cause of death among young humans in the United States is accidents. There is no dispute over how many of these accidents occurred while a young human was trying to engage in an activity considered to be… you guessed it… FUN.

Whether it be driving too fast, taking too many drugs, eating too much, jumping off of a moving object or raised platform, mating with a disease-carrying member of the opposite sex, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time (i.e. beaten to death on the sidewalk with a pipe), it is fairly obvious that FUN is an insidious killer.

HOW MANY DEATHS COULD BE AVOIDED?
Imagine how many deaths could be avoided.

WHAT SERIOUS ACTIVITIES CAN REPLACE FUN?
Someone needs to put an end to youth culture’s grip on the human children; they should be engaged in purposeful activities such as:

1.) Learning a trade
2.) Developing a skill
3.) Discovering talents
4.) Studying a subject
5.) Running a business
6.) Solving real-world problems
7.) Building objects
8.) Inventing inventions
9.) Preparing for an emergency
10.) Self-reflection

There is not enough time left in this world for young humans to spend so much time hopping in circles and giggling. In fact, time is already running out.

Before it is too late, we must win The War On Fun.

TABLE 1:1 – ACTIVE WAR-ON-FUN LICENSES

Certificate #
Name
000-000-000-000-000-001
Mickael
000-000-000-000-000-002
000-000-000-000-000-003
000-000-000-000-000-004
000-000-000-000-000-005
000-000-000-000-000-006
000-000-000-000-000-007
Brad Fries
000-000-000-000-000-008
000-000-000-000-000-009
000-000-000-000-000-010
000-000-000-000-000-011
LMNE
000-000-000-000-000-012
000-000-000-000-000-013
Rev. Dr. Crash
000-000-000-000-000-014
Hal4003
000-000-000-000-000-015
A.C. Menninger
000-000-000-000-000-016
000-000-000-000-000-017
000-000-000-000-000-018
Brian Compton
000-000-000-000-000-019
Michael Adragna
000-000-000-000-000-020
Andrew Wright
000-000-000-000-000-021
Jöseph Pöwer
000-000-000-000-000-022
000-000-000-000-000-023
000-000-000-000-000-024
Paul Feldman
000-000-000-000-000-025
Johan Bjorkman
000-000-000-000-000-026
Christopher South
000-000-000-000-000-027
Craig Pitt
000-000-000-000-000-028
Jimmy Bjorkman
000-000-000-000-000-029
Marie Annell
000-000-000-000-000-030
David Reckermann
000-000-000-000-000-031
Patrick V. Ostlund
000-000-000-000-000-032
000-000-000-000-000-033
Blue Nelson
000-000-000-000-000-034
öz ürügülü
000-000-000-000-000-035

HOW CAN I HELP?
There are several things you can do right away…

1.) Designate your Myspace or DotCom as a Certified “No-Fun Zone,” by posting the immediately available, “No-Fun Zone,” banner on your site. Copy and paste the following code now and start now:

2.) Register with The War On Fun Command Center to receive a personalized web-based Certificate / License with its very own unique Serial I.D. Number and your name or handle displayed proudly. You can use it as a Message Board / Forum Signature or on any community profile page to spread the word and Support The War! You will be entered into our personnel database and your page will be evaluated on a periodic basis to make sure you are not engaged in Counter-Anti-Fun Activities. You will also receive a monthly newsletter and downloadable tri-fold brochures / flyers to help you help your community. E-mail drzoltan@drzoltan.com to get yours today! Approval only takes a few moments.

For Registered Users Only: To display your certificate on your Myspace page or website, simply copy and paste the following code…

Be sure to update the code to match your personalized Certificate #!

3.) Purchase a No-Fun T-Shirt from MutantMall.com (Now Available!)

4.) Donate via PayPal. Dr. Zoltan assures you that all proceeds will be spent in the most Non-Fun manner possible.

5.) Submit photos of you and your friends engaged in activities that are serious and important. Dr. Zoltan will inspect them.

6.) Read the updated List of Unacceptable Cultural Artifacts & Revoked Artist Licenses.

“If you love your fun, die for it!” -Jello Biafra, The Power of Lard